10 tips for creating me time
1. Schedule it
3. Wake up early
4. Grocery shop online
5. Take a walk
6. Meal prep
7. Make a me time list
8. Go get a mani and pedi
9. Take on a hobby
10. Go for a drive
Today I’m going to share with you 7 things you should say to your child daily.
First lets talk about the two types of kids.
1. Do you have the type of kid the feel you don’t understand what they want or saying so they feel they must keep explaining their point?
2. Do you have the kid that just have to have the last word no matter what?
1. Stop responding to back talk
Just like dealing with an irate customer you don’t want to add fuel to the fire by continuing to go back and forward with them. It never have a good outcome. The issue will only escalate.
2. Give them a consequence
Just like we get consequences when we break a law your child actions have consequences.
3. Set Limits
Make sure they understand what is or isn’t okay to say.
4. Keep your composure
You can’t let what they say draw you in. Don’t react or match their tone. Model how you want them to act.
5. Figure out why they lash out
Let them know you value their feelings and work with them in learning how to express their feelings. More times than not they learned it from us. So really in actuality we need to work on ourselves first.
6. Offer choices
If they get mad and mouth off because you took something from them give them a option to get it back.
Ex: If you clean up your mess you will get it back.
7. Know when to turn a deaf ear
If you’ve tried everything and it’s still not working stop reacting, no longer negotiate, don’t compromise, or provide anymore options. I’m not saying abandon them but don’t give their actions any attention because it will only re-enforce the behavior.
8. Bonding Time
Sometimes they just want our attention. Spend one alone time with your child you will see the change in their actions.
9. Recognize and encourage good behavior
Me and my son have a rewards board. At the beginning of the month I give him a stack of index cards to write everything he wish to do for the month or want to buy. If he do good he get to pick 1 reward and if he mess up I remove a reward of my choice from the board. I allow him time to get that reward back but he have to work for it.
I hope these tips work for you like it did for me. To join in on my live discussions please follow my Facebook Group
1. Have a dance off
2. Read books
3. Blow bubbles
4. Color with them
5. Race your kids
6. Have a pillow fight
7. Take silly selfies
8. Build a fort
9. Movie night
10. Go to the park
As parents we often feel like our life is over or have to change because we have a child. Yes we have to adjust and make sacrifices but we can still be happy and parent at the same time. You don’t want to grow resentment for your kids because you decided to give up your dream for them. It’s possible to have it all. I’m a single mother and went to school full time for my undergraduate and graduate degree with a kid while I worked full time and ran my business full time. Their is no excuse. For a long time I thought I couldn’t do it until I did it. It’s the best feeling for your child to see you walk across that stage and tell you he’s proud of you. My son told me he wanted to finish school faster so that he can go to college. We have to model what we want our child to be. If they see us give up on our dreams how can we help them go for theirs? Be a Inspiration for them. Set the bar high and motivate them to dream. It’s never to late to accomplish your dreams. I just wanted to say shoot for your dreams. You can do it. It took me years of going to school to finish and even had to transfer online due to daycare issues but I never gave up. It will be hard but the feeling you have after of finally accomplishing a long term or short term goal is indescribable. #goals #justdoit #youcandoit #dream #parenting #parents #parentcoach #coach #mothers #mother #father #noexcuses #qotd
I’ve never really understood why men say I was watching my kid or babysitting my kid. Whereas when a mother does it she is raising a child or taking care of them. I’m interested in seeing other perspectives on this question. Be sure to leave a comment.
Are you tired of being overwhelmed arguing with the other parent, never getting any me time, always parenting on your own? Do you wish there was an easier way to co-parent? Have you struggled with communicating with the other parent? Are you ready to give up and just do it on your own? If you answered yes to any of those questions then I have a solution to that problem.
CONTRACT & PROGRAM
I have a Co-Parenting contract available on my website that breaks down everything from each party writing in which days and times they are available, who’s going to pick the child up, who’s going to have the child each holiday and breaks, How will they communicate and where will the child live and living conditions, etc. I also have a program that includes the contract for only $27 (valued at $47), 4 coaching sessions (value $400), and a Guide to Co-Parenting like a boss ebook for only $7 (value $17) for only $350. Each product can be purchased separately or in the full Co-Parenting program. These are limited time prices and won’t last forever. Don’t wait until the last minute and miss out on the savings.
This is a Guide to Co-Parenting like a Boss. It will help you through the planning process of being able to co-parent. It elaborates on what it takes to co-parent, forgiveness, must ask questions and make a plan.
Parents are the first and primary socializing agents for children. They influence can be seen in numerous areas of development, such as children’s learning of gender roles, moral development, social-emotional functioning and cognitive growth.( Parenting, 2006). Diana Baumrind became well known for her 4 parenting styles.
4 Parenting Styles
Parents with this style tend to set clear rules and expectations, respect child’s feelings, help the child with problem-solving, and willing to negotiate with the child. Children of parents with this style tend to be happier, confident, do well in school, and more independent.
Parents of this style tend to have high expectations, firm rules, and won’t negotiate with the child. Children of this parenting style tend to do well in school, lack confidence, not independent, and potentially anti-social.
Parents of this style tend to be more responsive to the child, have few rules, flexible expectation, and child’s friend. Children of this parenting style tend to do poorly in school, lack happiness, more impulsive, spoiled children, and prone to drug use.
Parents of this style tend to be unresponsive, undemanding, detached parents, and provide only the basics. Children of this parenting style are left to provide for themselves, more prone to anti-social behavior, and do poorly in school.
Here is the difference between directing and leading. As a parent, our job is to lead our child and prepare them for the real world. I’m going to break down the two terms Directing and Leading.
According to the dictionary, a director is defined as a person who is in charge of an activity, department, or organization. A person who supervises or manages and oversees the affairs of a business.
The point that I am trying to make is that we can’t direct our child. We can’t treat our child like a business. Get rid of the I’m the boss mentality. Directors instruct employees to do things. Directors control everything. Being the controller will drain you. As a parent don’t make your job harder than what it is. Directed children become dependent over time. Directed children become adults that can’t make decisions on their own. They are used to being bossed around and told what to do rather than shown how to do it.
Example of a director would be someone that tell a child to do this or do that and just shout out demands.
Whereas a leader, on the other hand, is defined as a person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country. A person that guides or conducts.
Children thrive on leadership not directing. Leaders hold the child accountable. Leaders lead by example. I’m going to list a few examples below.
• Don’t yell at your child and expect them to not match your tone
• You don’t want to be yelled at so why do it to your child
• You can’t talk about a child’s weight gain if your overweight yourself and not doing anything about it
• You can’t say sit down and stop eating all over the house when you are doing the same
• You can’t get mad at your child for having a smart mouth when he/she probably learned it from you
• Don’t tell your child to do one thing but you model another
If you want to learn more information get my 5 Easy ways to change your Child's Behavior ebook.
Rule 1- Stop Yelling
Just that simple stop yelling. Yelling only throw fuel to the flame. It only makes matters worse. Speak positively to them in a calming tone and they will listen. As soon as you yell their ears turn off and they become defensive. Yelling can also affect their confidence and self-esteem. In communicating with my son he expressed to me that yelling hurt his feelings and he didn’t feel loved so of course that had to stop.
Rule 2- Stop Verbal Abuse
I have to admit I use to be verbally abusive out of frustration. I try not to curse around my son and especially at him. Never call them stupid out frustration. Never threaten them for any reason. They will start to believe what you say. Good self- confidence and self-esteem is developed at home. I always tell parents your child is a representation of you. Kids pick up on that negative behavior.
Rule 3- Stop hitting your child
I already know what you’re thinking. Let me explain my reasoning behind no hitting. A lot of times we get to the point of hitting our child because we are frustrated and or just don’t understand our child. All patients have just gone out the window when we are frustrated. I just ask that you take a deep breathe and figure out what the real problem is. Talk to your child. Believe it or not, they will tell you how they feel. If you learn to react differently so will they. You’re the adult and set the tone. I personally don’t believe in physical punishment but I do believe in punishment. I will get deeper into that topic in the chapter about consequences.
Rules 4- Stay Consistent
This is the most important rule. Consistency is the only way this process will work. If you are not consistent then the child won’t be either. If you want them to take you seriously, then being consistent will show how serious you are and they will change their behavior. Don’t give up.
Information is available in my ebook
Recently I took a love language test from my friends page which is a Dating Coach. The results were very accurate for me. My results are listed below:
5 love languages
My love language
10 Words of affirmation
7 Quality time
6 Acts of services
4 Physical touch
3 Receiving gifts
I’m am the type of person that needs to hear how you feel about me and communication is very important to me. I have to have your time. I lose interest fast when I’m not around the person or get to see or talk to them often. Acts of service is important. I like surprises. Nothing big just simple things like wash the dishes or fold the clothes. Anything that helps my work load. I’m not much of an affectionate person I like my personal space and don’t like to feel Smith with someone all under me. I’m not a materialistic person so I don’t care for gifts. Valentines have always been difficult. I hate candy and flowers.
I want you all to take the test for you and they have it for children as well. My son is opposite order of me. He’s very affectionate and like to cuddle so I have to hug him often and he tell you he love you 20 times a day. Knowing how to love them is very rewarding and helps them feel happy. The link will be below. If your brave please share your results
Click link below
I did a Facebook live video about this very topic. I’m going to share the video in this blog as well. I came up with a few question I personally as a mother hated being asked. Instead I gave options as to what questions you should ask.
Questions not to ask:
1. Where is your husband or child’s father?
This bothered me because when I was pregnant I went through it alone and only with family. My son father was deployed even when I gave birth. I got asked this when I went to the doctor alone. It really use to bother me because I wish I wasn’t doing it alone but I had no choice. It also reminded me that I was a single mother and had never been in a relationship with my son father. We were childhood best friends that took it to far at his going away party to leave for the Navy. I dreaded that question. It was a constant reminder that I was doing things the non traditional way in which I wasn’t even proud of. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
2. How do you do it?
As a single mother I always respond with I have no other choice but to do what I have to do. People looked at me crazy when I told them I worked full time, homeschooled my son, was in grad school online, and ran 2 online businesses. I made it look easy but at times I was a little overwhelmed but I remained focused on the goal. I mastered time management. My whole day is literally planned out from when I can eat and sleep.
3. Do you want more kids?
This question bothered me only because as a single mother it’s hard not to see yourself raising another kid by yourself being that you never had it any other way. I can only see myself having another kid if I am married and don’t have to do it alone again. I reuse to make the same mistake twice and become a baby mommy twice.
4. How long were you together?
I hated this question because I was never with my son father. It was embarrassing to even tell people that.
Questions to ask instead:
1.Where do you find strength and motivation?
2. How do you maintain a balance?
3. What do your typical day look like?
4.What is the best part of being a mother?
5. What do you want to say to non single mothers?
Below is the live video from my facebook group. Join my facebook group below
Dating as a single mother can come with any challenges. We usually can’t find the time to actually date so that makes it also difficult to actually meet someone if you don’t want to go online. We not only have ourselves to think about but have to consider or children in the equation as well. Single mothers are not for all men either. It takes the right kind of man to handle a single mother. Below is my video I did this week on this topic that goes more in depth.
Yesterday I did a live video about the signs your child is battling depression. Check out the video below.
1. Change in appetite
2. Trouble sleeping throughout the night
3. Tired all the time for no reason
4. Inability to have fun doing things that were once fun
5. Crankier than usual and irritable
6. Sadness that lasts most of the day
7. Social withdrawl
8. Vocal outburts or crying
9. Thoughts of death or suicide
10. Feel worthless or guilt
1.Create a routine
As a single parent I struggled with time management the most. It’s best to create a routine that you can stick to as closely as possible. Write down what you have to do and set times to do it. Once you get the kids and yourself on a routine it will be such a relief. Literally my whole day is planned out.
2.Don’t feel guilty
I know its hard to be a single parent but don’t feel bad for the decisions that we have made. You are doing the best that you can and doing a good job at it. As a single mother myself its easy to be hard on myself or question if I’m doing the right things. Keep pushing through and know that you are doing a god job.
At times it can become a little overwhelming but take a deep breathe and calm down. Speak positive words to yourself. It’s going to be alright.
4.Don’t be afraid to lean on others
Get you a support system. I remember the old saying “It takes a village to raise a child”. They have single mom groups on Social media reach out to family and friends, etc. This is why I created my Facebook Group and named it It Takes a Village to Raise a Child. We are here for each other.
5.Take care of you first
It’s okay to take time out for yourself. We all need an escape to get back to us at some point. Maybe once or twice a week take a long bath with candles and oils and relax.
Check out the video below.
This weeks live was about ways fathers can build a bond with their kids. Check out the video below.
Today I went live and talked about the lack of community and support our fathers have.
Studies show that there is a lack of community and support for fathers.
Fathers benefit from spending time with other men to talk about what works and what fails as dads, partners, and economic providers.
Join men’s groups on Social Media
Have talks at the barbershop
I also discussed the statistics of a fatherless child.
If you are ready to rewrite your story please reach out to me or click contact on my website.
6 signs you have daddy issues
1. You’re aloof. You pretty much are checked out of reality. You focus on everything but the reality of your situation.
2. You’re Unconcerned. Not available emotionally to connect to someone. Your not comfortable in your own roles as a parent.
3. You’re Disrespectful. You don’t know how to be respectful.
4. You’re commitment- phobic. You avoid commitments due to past hurt, abandonment, and unreliability of people in your life. You don’t trust people.
5. You’re irresponsible. Still haven’t figured out life. Never take ownership. It’s always not your fault.
6. You’re unaffectionate. You feel awkward when either being touched or touching others due to it don’t come natural to you.
If you are ready to work out those issues book your free 45 breakthrough session with me by email at email@example.com.
I have 5 slots available for my Co-Parenting program for next month.
If you missed this weeks live video in my Facebook Group check it out below.
Stay connected with me at my links below
Facebook Business page
This was a question that my son used to ask when I use to date as a single mother. It bothered me. He asked me get a boyfriend because he wanted a daddy at home. This deterred me from getting in a relationship until he had a relationship with his biological father first. Have any of you had this experience? If so, share below. #parentcoach #mother #singlemom #dating #qotd #parents
My name is Coach Mo and I coach parents to co-parent with success to coexist in child's life positively.